Yoda I am - NOT. But I do know everything . . .

It's Not Easy Being the Yoda of the Moy Family

The chores around my house are such a burden. But somebody has to keep the cats in line, the bed warm, and the cat-food bowl clean.

I don't know what Mom and Dad did before I showed up. I guess they just put up with everything the others did around here. For the record: Sky pooped on Dad's pillow before I was born.

The other night we had another cat incident. Chester, who is an OUTSIDE cat, broke into the house like a common criminal. Chester used to be allowed inside until he started "marking" the furniture and he "marked" Dad. Bad move, dude.

Anyway, Chester sneaked into the house like a terrorist into America. But he didn't get by me. Mom called for me and said "get Chester." When she says this, she wants me to corral the interloper and herd him out of the house. Sometimes this is difficult. First, I was not born to be a herding dog. I was born to eat, sleep and get my butt scratched. Still, I try to rise to the occasion.

Chester darted to Sky's cat-food bowl, which I had already cleaned (lol). Mom scurried after Chester and captured the fool before I could get at him.

Let me stop right here. I have rules of engagement when herding the cats. I can't really use force, except I do grab a mouthful of hair every once in a while. Mom doesn't want me hurting the cats and I don't want to cripple them either. I would like to teach them a lesson or two because they are wiseacres.

Mom grabbed Chester and headed for the door. I followed, just to make sure the prisoner didn't escape again. I also had a taste for Chester's fur. I jumped and jumped (I'm very athletic), but Mom held Chester out of my reach. As I approached the loveseat in the front room, I got an idea: I had seen gymasts on TV practicing on trampolines. The couch looked like it might have some hoisting power. As Mom walked by with Chester in her clutches, I jumped on the loveseat and flew high enough to grab a mouthful of hair from Chester's keester. It was beauty in motion. I accelerated like the Shuttle to intercept the cat. My landing was a Perfect 10.

I could tell Mom was pleased because she laughed her "happy cackle."

Just another day in the life of the Beautiful Bulldog.